In celebration of the fact that I've just had my fourth root canal and am consequently heavily medicated (yes, there is a connection there), I thought I'd Google "teeth" and "mobile" to see what came up.
What I got was the Tooth Phone, a proof-of-concept design project developed in 2002 from some students at the Royal College Of Art. As you'll recall, the concept device - which didn't actually have a working chip - could be implanted inside a molar via routine dental surgery, although it was intended mainly to get a discussion going on wearable comms devices.
Five years later, of course, no one's made any serious public move to commercialize it. Which is a shame, in a way, since at the time it appealed to my inner James Bond. On the other hand, our concept of mobile phones has changed a lot in five years. A phone in your head is of no practical value in an age of multimedia mobile devices. How would you watch YouTube on it‾
No matter. I've spent enough time with my dentist in the last few years to know that there is no phone I want badly enough to endure dental surgery to have it installed. Trust me on this. I am a professional.